He Gets That From Me
By Jaqueline Friedland
SparkPress, 2021.
Summary
Maggie Fisher, her partner Nick, and their toddler, Wyatt, live in Pheonix. Maggie dreams of one day being able to afford to go back to school and study to become a teacher. One day she reads an advert from a fertility clinic, pairing couples with potential surrogate mothers. Maggie decides to apply because the money she would receive would allow her to pay for her tuition. Soon she is chosen as gestational carrier by Chip and Donovan Rigdale. Maggie becomes pregnant and delivers twins, Kai and Teddy. Ten years later, she gets a phone call from the fertility clinic asking her for a follow up DNA test.
Also available as audiobook on Audible
Ethical Issues:
Genetic Testing Reproductive Choices
Parental responsibility Identity
Surrogacy Best Interest
Family structures Nature versus nurture
Discussion questions:
What did you think of Nick’s reaction to Maggie’s decision to become a gestational carrier?
What did you think of Chip’s initial reaction to the results of the DNA test?
How do you see Donovan’s and Chip’s upbringing impacting their views and intentions with their own children?
Do you think Maggie and Nick would have cared as much about the situation if they had been able to have another child together?
In your opinion, do donor-conceived individuals have the right to know their genetic origin? Why/why not?
1 Adapted from publisher’s summary.
What are some of the ethical arguments in favor of and against surrogacy? Are Maggie and Nick Kai’s family?
Were you surprised that no-one spoke to Kai at an earlier stage about what he wanted? Why/why not?
How did the story impact your view on what ‘family’ is?
Discuss the following passages from the book:
p. 50. “Who’s going to help two gay men bring a child into the world? Is it even fair of us to attempt to raise a kid in this kind of family? Will our child be ridiculed every single day for having two daddies? I want to believe that attitudes and society at large have evolved, that Chip and I aren’t just living in some progressive bubble where we’ve surrounded ourselves with likeminded individuals and have been able to remain blissfully ignorant of lingering prejudices in the world at large, but I can’t wrestle down the uncertainty.”
p. 86-87. “All you do is call those guys in New York, It’s like you don’t even have a life of your own anymore,” he said, spittle flying out his mouth. “You’re just this vessel. A uterus for hire.”
“Don’t you ever think of what it’s like for them? I walked toward him, lugging all my anger with me. “I have their children with me, day in and day out, and they have absolutely no control over what I do to their babies.”
p. 142. There are so many issues I never could have anticipated when I found that magazine ad back at Bed, Bath & Beyond all those years ago
